Just Remember
by emeraldcitylights
Summary: Elder McKinley struggles with nightmares, and, as is always the case, his feelings. McPriceley. Slight trigger warning for some violence.


_Elder McKinley opened his eyes, and sighed. Of course he was here. He'd been here every night since he was 10 years old. It was practically routine to him now. Why expect any different?  
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_But as he walked forward into Hell, something did feel different. It was still the same old Hell, with demons lurking in the shadows, and the spirits of the wicked drifting about, but something wasn't quite right. "Oh come off it, Connor." McKinley muttered to himself. "It's Hell. Nothing is right in Hell. You would know. You all but live here." McKinley shook the thoughts out of his head and continued walking. Every so often he would glance behind him and see the bright, evil eyes of a demon stalking him, but that didn't faze him much anymore. Nothing here really did._

_After walking for about ten minutes, though, McKinley started to feel a little anxious. He'd never remembered going this long untouched before. Usually the demons or spirits would have him by now. Torturing him in any way they could come up with. Most involved needles or other surgical equipment, seeing as those were the things that frightened him most. The demons specifically enjoyed those. They had recently created a game involving McKinley strapped to a gurney, and seeing how fast they could carve the word "Gay" into McKinley's flesh. He shuddered thinking about it. McKinley had slowed his pace, though. He was confused. Why in the name of Heavenly Father were they taking so long? Just get it over with already. _

_But that's when he saw it. A demon darted across the path in front of him, and when their eyes met, McKinley noticed something that turned his blood cold. The demon was smiling. McKinley froze, fear creeping up his spine. The demons never smiled. In all his time here, the only expression McKinley ever saw on their faces was an emotionless glare. What was going on? But McKinley saw it again, and again. Every demon or specter who passed wore a grin. Not a friendly grin either, but a sneering grin. Like they knew something he didn't. And this worried him beyond measure._

_After another dozen or so demons passed, sneering at him, mocking him, McKinley couldn't take it anymore. "What's so funny?" He called out, hating himself for the waver in his voice. "Why are you all smiling? Have you come up with another little game to play with me? Hmm? Well, get on with it then! I haven't got all night!" _

_A deep voice boomed out, knocking stones off the walls surrounding him, "Well well well. I thought you'd never ask, Conner." Before McKinley could react, four demons pounced on him, chaining him to the stone wall behind him. He didn't give more than a feeble attempt to resist them. He'd been chained before, and realized long ago that fighting them only wasted your energy. No matter how hard you fought back, you would never win. The body that voiced the call materialized in front of him, with hundreds of demons flanking him, all with that evil smile. McKinley's fear rose a bit as Lucifer came into sight. _

_The Devil hadn't made an appearance in his dreams for months now. McKinley had started to think that Lucifer had become bored with him. Not that he was complaining. The less he saw of the giant horned demon, the better. Lucifer looked at McKinley, and smiled himself. "Long time no see, old friend. Are you holding up well?" McKinley didn't answer. He didn't even look at the devil. He merely directed his gaze to a large pebble that had been dislodged from the wall when Lucifer had arrived. "Guess what I've got for you today Conner? It's a surprise, but trust me, once you see him, it'll be much more interesting than that rock you're staring at." The devil laughed. _

_Once more McKinley froze. Did he say 'him'? He couldn't mean… Oh please no. Heavenly Father, don't let it be him. Anyone but him. McKinley looked up at Lucifer and asked, "What do you mean?" He couldn't hide the fear in his voice, and the devil noticed. "I've brought along a little friend of yours. Perhaps he is even the reason you visit my home every night. But we're going to have some fun with him. And you get to watch." With that, two demons shoved a man out from behind the devil. And it was the last man McKinley ever wanted to see in this Hell. _

_"Kevin?" He whispered. And Kevin Price it was. Standing there, shivering with fear in his own shackles, was indeed the man who caused McKinley to return to Hell nightly. And seeing him so terrified shattered something in McKinley. "NO! NOT HIM! HE'S DONE NOTHING WRONG! THIS IS ABOUT ME, DON'T BRING HIM INTO IT!" At the noise Price looked up and saw McKinley. "CONNER!" Price reached for him, but two demons grabbed him before McKinley could move. They dragged Price away and one demon stabbed Price in the leg with his claw. As Price screamed and blood poured onto the ground, McKinley began yelling and fighting against his chains as hard as he could. He knew deep down that he would never get free, and his struggles were in vain, but he had to do something. The other demon raked his claws across Price's back, spilling out more blood, and causing Price's screams to intensify. McKinley couldn't handle this. Tears were streaming down his face and his arms were red and raw from his restraints. "KEVIN!" He cried out, his voice hoarse from yelling. Lucifer's laugh rumbled in the background as Price locked eyes with McKinley, both filled with fear, as a demon raised its claw to end the life of the only person McKinley couldn't live without. "NOOO-_

McKinley sat bolt upright in his bed. His heart was racing and he was drenched in sweat. He breathed and calmed himself down a bit before he swung his legs over the side of the bed and put his face in his hands, which were shaking. _It was just a dream, Conner. You're fine, Kevin is fine, everything is fine._ But McKinley knew that was a lie. He knew that if he continued to have his sinful thoughts, then he would now be witnessing that scene every night for lord knows how long. And McKinley didn't think he could bear it.

He stood up, wiped some stray tears from his eyes, and got dressed. Not like he could go back to sleep if he wanted to anyway. He glanced over at his companion's bed, thankful the Elder was such a heavy sleeper, and left the bedroom, closing the door softly behind him. McKinley went straight to the bathroom. He leaned over the sink and took a deep breath. He looked into the mirror and shook his head. His eyes were puffy from crying, and he still felt a little shivery. "Connor, why do you do this to yourself?"

In his mind, he knew he couldn't help it. He'd been trying for years to "turn it off" but never seemed to be able too. He didn't understand why Heavenly Father made him this way, or why, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't change himself. He'd grown to live with the fact that Heavenly Father must have just made a mistake with him.

McKinley splashed cold water on his face to try and clear his thoughts. After he was done he went into the kitchen and looked at the clock. 6:26. The other Elders would be getting up soon. The least he could do was boil the water for breakfast. They had been in Uganda for a little over 8 months now and had discovered in their early days that if you didn't filter and boil the water before you drank it, you got incredibly sick. McKinley heard the alarm ring out throughout their little hut, signaling the Mormons it was time to rise and shine. As McKinley put the pot on the stove, he sighed. He wasn't really in the mood to socialize with the others. He knew he'd have to fake it nonetheless as he heard Elder White exclaim from behind him, "Good morning Elder McKinley!" Putting on the most convincing smile he could, McKinley turned around and said, "Hello Elder White." He did the same for all the other Elders filtering in. He couldn't help but notice that Elder Price hadn't come out yet. His lovably noisy companion Elder Cunningham had already came bumbling out and joined the group. McKinley was secretly grateful for Elder Price's tardiness though, because he didn't know what he would do when he saw him.

McKinley managed to slip away from the now breakfasting men, claiming that he had eaten before they woke up, and make his way to the bedroom hallway. He was going to his room to read a few passages of The Book of Mormon to help get his mind refocused on his mission duties. But just as McKinley reached his door, another door at the end of the hallway opened, and Elder Price emerged. McKinley caught his breath as his dream flashed back to him, and he looked away before Price could notice anything was wrong. "Elder McKinley! Good morning to you! Why aren't you out with the other Elders?" Price asked. McKinley took a few deep breaths before saying, "I already ate." He could have slapped himself for how much his voice wobbled. He heard Price walk over to him, and put his hand on McKinley's shoulder, concerned. "Is everything alright Conner?"

Oh Heavenly Father. It killed McKinley when Price used his name. McKinley looked at Price's shoes and said as cheerily as he could muster, "Of course Elder! Why wouldn't it be?" He could tell that Price wasn't buying his act, but he went along with it anyway. "If you say so. " Elder Price rubbed his thumb soothingly on McKinley's shoulder a few times, and went to join the others.

When McKinley opened his door, he all but collapsed on his bed. It took everything he had to keep from bursting into tears. He'd had feelings for Elder Price as soon as he and Elder Cunningham had showed up at their house in Uganda.

McKinley couldn't think of a more perfect human. Everything about Price was flawless. His hair, his face, his personality. Everything. When Price had a lapse in faith in his first month here, McKinley helped him remember why he loved his work and Heavenly Father. Which was slightly ironic to McKinley, because he himself often has doubts about Heavenly Father. McKinley knew he was flawed though, so the least he could do was help a Mormon who wasn't regain the love from Heavenly Father that he deserved. But throughout the time that he was helping Price and getting to know him, McKinley had grown more attached. They were good friends now. McKinley wished they could be more, but he'd never dare let Price know. He knew that Price didn't feel the same way, and that was a bittersweet comfort for him. It showed that they would never have a relationship, which crushed McKinley, but it also meant that Price didn't have to suffer the horrors that he experienced every night. And McKinley prayed to Heavenly Father that he never would. No one as perfect as Kevin Price should have to experience Hell. It just wouldn't be fair.

McKinley laid back on his bed and closed his eyes. _Turn it off Conner. You don't want to have that dream again do you? _McKinley found himself shaking his head vigorously. Then he opened his eyes and let out a halfhearted chuckle. _Look at me. Talking to myself. I really am a wreck._ He rolled himself back into a sitting position, grabbed his Book of Mormon from his nightstand, and quickly read a few passages. That was enough to kick McKinley back into district leader mode. He had a mission to run. McKinley stood up, straightened his tie, and walked towards the bedroom door. Before he went out he paused and softly touched the shoulder where Price's hand had been. _No. No more. Mission time Conner. _With that he shook his head, and went out to give the Elders their assignments for the day.

When all the Elders had finally returned to the hut, the last dragging himself in at about 7:45, they all plopped down in the "living room", which was nothing more than a raggedy old couch, a coffee table, and a few tattered lawn chairs. McKinley was exhausted and he knew the others were too. Cunningham and Price had gone with a few other Elders to the next village over to introduce the Books of Mormon and Arnold to a new African tribe. And by the looks on the Elders faces, the trip hadn't gone too well. But Cunningham wasn't discouraged. He talked of bringing Nabalungi and a friend of hers to the village tomorrow to see if they could help them out.

From where McKinley was seated in his lawn chair, he saw that Cunningham was spewing off ideas at Elder Price on the couch, and Price was only half attempting to keep up. The Elder looked about ready to pass out. McKinley felt a little pang of sympathy for him. He, himself had had a rather long day too. He and the other Elders spent the day helping the members of Nabalungi's tribe break ground on the new Church they were constructing.

As the Elders slowly went off to bed, McKinley found himself watching Elder Price, and dozing off as he did so.

_He heard the cackles before Hell itself even came into view. They knew he was there. And he knew he was too. McKinley's whole being filled with fear as the stone walls appeared and the demons came out. The last time he was as terrified of Hell as he was now, he was just a child, and it was the first time he had ever experienced the dream, and had no idea what was coming. But this time was different. He knew exactly what was coming, and that's what chilled him to the core. Tears began to slide down his cheeks as the demons chained him back to the wall, praying in vain to Heavenly Father that the demons would have their way with him and not… "CONNER!" He forced his eyes opened and once again, his heart was ripped to shreds. Price was lying on the ground with a demon standing over him, carving McKinley's own name into his back. "CONNER! Conner! Conner! Conn-_

McKinley jerked awake with a gasp, startling Elder Price who was standing over him, with a worried expression on his face. "Are you alright Conner? You're shaking!" McKinley looked around, saw that he was back in their hut, and tried to chase the visions out of his head.

"Uh. Yes Elder, I'm perfectly fine!" He said, dashing the tears from his eyes and quickly standing up. "Just a um... nightmare is all. Nothing to worry about!" But Price grabbed McKinley's arm and said, "No it wasn't. You're a terrible liar, you know." McKinley tried to brush Price off, but he wasn't budging. "Sit down. We need to talk." McKinley took a deep breath and reluctantly sat back down, trying to stop the tears that were still streaming down his face. Price knelt in front of him, grabbed his hand and said, "Spill."

McKinley was doing everything he could to calm his heart-rate and stop shaking when he answered, "I-It was really nothing Kevin. You don't need to worry about me. Just silly little dreams." Price shook his head. "If they are just silly little dreams, then why do you wake up like this?" McKinley sighed. "Do you remember when you first came here, and I told you that I had Hell dreams nightly?" "Mmhmm." "Well, ta-da!" McKinley gave a weak chuckle, and Price squeezed his hand. "You know the dreams aren't real right? Nothing in them will ever happen. They're just fantasy."

McKinley choked back a sob. _Thank God. _

He nodded his head, "I know they are, but when I'm there, when it's happening… it just seems so… real." Price met McKinley's eyes, and the tortured expression he saw in them broke his heart. Price held McKinley's hand tighter to him and said, "I can't even begin to imagine what is happening in these dreams that is doing this to you, but-"

"It's you." McKinley whispered, tears freely falling now. Price looked confused. "What?"

"They hurt you. The demons they… they… stab you a-and torture you and you scream a-and they chain me to a wall, so I can't help you, there's nothing I can do and…" McKinley was consumed by sobs at this point. Elder Price wrapped him in the most comforting hug he could manage, rubbing his back and whispering "Shh".

McKinley tried to regain control of himself, but he couldn't seem to stop crying. "I-I'm sorry for bothering you with all of this Kevin. You don't need any of my problems. You have a big mission to worry abou-"

"Shhh. Stop. I'm always here for you Conner. No matter what you see in those dreams, I'll always be here, safe and sound. And you will too. Just remember that. Okay?" McKinley nodded his head, lost for words. Price gave him one last squeeze and stood up. "All right. Let's get you off to bed. It's getting close to curfew." He smiled and reached out his hand, and McKinley managed a small smile back, and took it, allowing the other Elder to pull him to his feet.

They walked silently back to McKinley's room together, stopping outside the door. McKinley turned around and said, "Thank you Kevin. I-I just… Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me Conner. What are friends for? You would do the same for me." McKinley smiled and nodded and reached for the door handle, but before he could get to it, Elder Price grabbed his hand. "Remember what I told you. I'm always here, no matter what." And Price leaned over and gently kissed McKinley's forehead. He let go of his hand and smiled, "Good night." As Price walked away, McKinley whispered back, "Good night."

He stood frozen in shock as he heard Elder Price's door close. And he smiled to himself. No matter what the Hell dreams brought him, Kevin would always be there. And that, he thought to himself as he entered his room to the sounds of his snoring companion, is all he would ever need.  
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**AN:  
>So, this is the first actual fic I have ever wrote. Which probably explains the amatureness of it.<br>This is probably waaay out of character, but I thought it was cute c: **


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